Oregon City: Mamma Mi Famiglia - Decent Wood-Fired Pizza, Good Service

Mi Famiglia

701 Main Street

Oregon City, OR 97045

Phone number (503) 594-0601

Website: mi-famiglia.com

Prices: $$$$

Another Neapolitan pizza wannabe that just cannot seem to get it quite right. Give up. Unless you are in Napoli, it just will not be the same. However, trying is a good thing and Mi Famiglia did an OK job of pulling it off.

The draft beers (IPA) were cold and reasonably priced ($5) and the individual, wood-fired pizzas decent, although a tad on the small side. True Neapolitan pizza is close to 13" in diameter and served on a big plate. These, although advertized at 12" (before baking maybe), were closer to 10" to 11" on the plate.

We started with a $5 bread plate with four toasted pieces of bread accompanied by some alfredo and marinara sauce. Not bad, but not a great value. My wife had the Four Cheese ($11 - aka Quattro Formaggio) and I a two-topping cheese pizza with salami and fresh basil ($13.25).

The bread plate was overpriced and the pizzas (pizze) not bad for an American attempt at pizza Napolitana. The place is quaint in a surprisingly cute downtown Oregon City with a large, wood-fired pizza oven and freindly, efficient service.

CombatCritic Gives Mi Famiglia 6 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Six Bombs Equates To:

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Read Chris S.'s review of Mi Famiglia on Yelp

Title: Oregon City: Mamma Mi Famiglia - Decent Wood-Fired Pizza, Good Service

Key Words: Mi Famiglia, mi, famiglia, pizza, pizzeria, wood, oven, fired, Oregon City, Oregon, Portland, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato

Translation for Civilians: G2G = "Good To Go"

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Travel Tech: Defective Garmin Vivoactive - Welcome To The Wall Of Shame

If you travel as much as I do and are active (walking, hiking, golfing, swimming, etc.), a good activity monitor or smart watch is indispensable. I bought one from Amazon.com a little over a year ago and am I sorry I did.

The Garmin Vivoactive ($179) worked fine for about six months, monitoring sleep and the golf function worked OK. When walking (golf) or during travel (we walk a lot), it kept track of steps and was quite useful, but I use an elliptical trainer for much of my cardio and the Vivoactive was/is totally useless unless your arms are swinging.

After 5-6 months, it quit syncing sleep on a regular basis and a month or two later the golf function stopped working altogether. For golf, it give you basic yardages (front/center/back of green) and keeps score, but that's it. It has difficulty recognizing the golf course you have just arrived at, even with GPS, so you have to remember to sync it via Bluetooth with the Garmin Connect app on your phone, a real pain in the butt.

For the past several months the golf function, one of the primary reasons I bought it, quit working altogether. It can find the course, but when you click on the course you want to play, it starts "downloading data" and "transferring data", but then goes back to the main menu. Once on the course, it sometimes would start working, but FOR THE WRONG COURSE. The course I play has a short Par 4 2nd hole, but the Vivoactive lists the 2nd hole as a Par 5 and the yardage does not work at all.

This "smart" watch is a piece of junk. I wasted $179 for a digital watch when I could have paid $30 and gotten a better Casio with more functions than this thing has now. Garmin came out with the Vivoactive HR just weeks after I bought this garbage, but did not bother telling me that I could have bought an upgraded watch with a heart rate monitor for a little more if I waited a few days. I do not know if the Vivoactive HR is any better than the Vivoactive, but it could not be any worse.

The watch stopped working altogether in July 2017, dead as a doorknob. I will never buy a Garmin product again because of their lack of customer service and the junk they sell. DO NOT BUY A GARMIN VIVOACTIVE!

CombatCritic Gives Garmin and Their Vivoactive 1 Bomb Out Of 10 And A Spot On My "WALL OF SHAME" ... More Bombs Are Better!

One Bomb Equates To:

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Title: Travel Tech: Defective Garmin Vivoactive - Welcome To The Wall Of Shame

Key Words: Garmin, Vivoactive, watch, GPS, smart watch, golf, steps, activity, monitor, active, Portland, Oregon, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, product, business, review, Yelp

Translation for Civilians: FUBAR = "Fucked Up Beyond Any/All Repair"

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Vancouver, WA: "I Know Nothing" Except That Sergeant Schultz MIght Even Like Gustav's

Gustav’s Pub & Grill
1705 SE 164th Avenue
Vancouver, WA 98683
Phone number: (360) 883-0222
Website: gustavs.net
Prices: $$$$

With three locations in the Portland area (two in Oregon and one in Vancouver, Washington), I had no idea that the cuisine was Hungarian/German from the name until we gave them a try. They places look modern and nondescript from the outside, but have warm wood tones and German decor inside. This one is more "German" than the Tigard location with high, beamed ceilings, German state flags, even a mini German street scene in the back of the entry as you walk in.

With Happy Hour, a Portland tradition, Monday through Saturday from 2 to 6 PM and 9 PM to closing and all day Sunday in the bar, two can eat and drink quite well for under $30. They have a nice selection of eats from $4.75 (e.g. potato pancakes or Bavarian pretzels) to $7.75 (e.g. cheeseburgers or schnitzel clubs). Two German biers (Paulaner Oktoberfest and Warsteiner Dunkel) are $4.75 for a .5 liter stein and all other draughts are $1 off.

HAPPY HOUR (See Translations Below If You Don't Sprechen Deutsch)

"Original" Fondue $6.75 ... Sehr Gut! (Best value in the place)
- Decent size cast iron pot (bowl) full of hot, creamy cheese served with plenty o' cubes of pumpernickel and other breads.

Bavarian Pretzel $4.75 ... Gut 
Soft and hot with spicy mustard. $5 is the standard price at most places for similar pretzels, so not a super Happy Hour value - make it $3.75.

Sausage of Your Choice $5.75 (Nürnberger Brat) ... SoSo (Tasty, but very small for price)
- Thinner than a hot dog, but longer, this sausage tasted good but was unsubstantial for almost $6. $4.75 should be the max price for this weiner.

Potato Pancakes (3) $4.75 ... Sehr Gut!
- Thin, crisp and yummy, served with small sides of apple sauce and sour cream.

Shepherd's Pie $6.75 ... SoSo
- An English staple, not German, this atypical dish is small with cubes of beef in a goulasch-style sauce then covered with mashed potatoes and cheddar cheese (?) and baked.

Cabbage Roll (2) $6.75 ... Gut
- Cabbage stuffed with ground meat, rice and spices, then baked in a savory sauce with chunks of tomato, carrot and onion.

MEALS

Hungarian Veal Jäger ($18.95) ... Gut, but not a stupendous value
- Could be served with a salad, cup of soup, sauerkraut and/or red cabbage for this price and be perceived as a much better value. The veal scallops were small and the mashed potatoes underneath almost imperceptible. The sauce was delicious and topped with an abundance of fresh sauteed mushrooms.

Pork St. Moritz ($15.25) ... Sehr Gut!
Kinda like cordon bleu, but with the ham and cheese on top instead of inside. The two large, pounded and breaded pork scallops were sauteed then topped with Emmentaler cheese and Black Forest ham, served in a delicious Madeira sauce with creamy mashed potatoes and vegetables. A good value, adding a house or Caesar salad for an additional $3.95 makes it a meal at just over $19.

1. Sehr Gut! = Very Good
2. Gut = Good
3. SoSo - So-So
4. Nicht Gut = Not Good
5. Scheisse = Shit

We have tried both the Tigard and Vancouver locations. The buildings and decor are slightly different, but the menus and food seem identical. The service has been friendly and efficient on all three visits thus far.

My sole complaint was the Oktoberfest I ordered last night (above) that came looking like someone had taken a huge gulp out of it with well over an inch missing from the top of the mug. German (and English) bartenders take pride in filling glasses to the brim, either with beer or a head rising to the rim. This one had either been sitting for quite a while (so the head disappeared) or was a short pour. In any event, it should have been repoured or at least topped-off before being served.

CombatCritic Gives Gustav's 7 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Seven Bombs Equates To:

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Read Chris S.'s review of Gustav's Pub & Grill on Yelp

Title: Vancouver, WA: "I Know Nothing" Except That Sergeant Schultz MIght Even Like Gustav's

Key Words: Gustav's Pub and Grill, Gustav's, Gustav, pub, German, Hungarian, Portland, Oregon, Vancouver, WA, OR, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato

Translation for Civilians: S&G = "Shits & Grins"

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Tigard, OR: Cafe Allegro Disappoints In A City Void Of Decent, Reasonable, Homestyle Italian Food

Cafe Allegro
12386 SW Main Street
Tigard, OR 97223
Phone number (503) 684-0130
Website cafeallegrotigard.com
Prices: $$$$

Not horrible - the food is a mostly inauthentic version of Italian (even though their website claims "authentic gourmet Italian cuisine") and definitely not "gourmet"- in an area void of ANY Italian restaurants much less GOOD ones. The menu is too big and there are hardly any dishes (pasta, pizza, entrees) that you would find on a decent restaurant's menu. More on that later.

I had the Caprese Salad ($7), the most authentic item on the menu except for the overly sweet balsamic vinegar, something you would NEVER see on Caprese in Italy or any respectable stateside Italian joint. Otherwise, it was nicely presented and the price fair. My wife had a house (side) salad that was fresh, yet unremarkable, and overpriced by at least a buck.

A native of the birthplace of pizza, Naples (Napoli), she ordered the Four Cheese (Quattro Formaggi - $10) pizza without tomato sauce (there should not be any tomato on this pizza in the first place). The pizza looked good, except for the cheddar cheese (cheddar on a pizza?), but the taste was extremely bland, no detectable seasoning whatsoever. 

I had the "Chicken Prosciutto Scalopine" ($18 - "scaloppine" has two "p"s BTW) in a pretty good Marsala sauce. Unfortunately, the dish was a mish-mash of spaghetti and veggies (tomato, broccoli, carrots, zucchini) topped with chicken breasts, prosciutto and cheese, then broiled. The chicken topped with prosciutto (no cheese) in a Marsala sauce and a side of pasta, for example, along with a dinner salad would be a simple, authentic dish and a fair value at $18.

The place is simple and the decor somewhat dated, the service attentive and friendly. If it were my place and I wanted to succeed, here are some things I would consider:

1. Scale down the menu considerably

2. KISS ... Keep It Simple Stronzo - simple, fresh ingredients and "traditional" recipes

3. Dinner salads should be included with entrees or a $2 to $2.50 add-on at most, not $4

4. Loose the cheddar - it does not belong on anything claiming to be Italian

5. Update the dining room - it is tacky, not "romantic"

There are a shitload of Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese and Pub-style restaurants in the Tigard area, but not a single decent Italian restaurant within 10 miles. People LOVE Italian food, hence its Top-3 status among Americans, so a restaurant that could do Italian right, not quirky, would likely thrive in this area. We were there at 7:30 on a Saturday night and there were just three other parties in the restaurant. How this place has survived since 1991 is beyond me, particularly considering their prime location in downtown Tigard.

FYI - My critiques are meant to inform readers based on my experience and perception as well as provide business owners with honest, constructive feedback, not slam them unnecessarily. I want businesses to succeed, not fail, so my comments are provided with no ill will. I hope the owners take my opinions and suggestions with an open mind, possibly increasing the quality and profitability of their restaurant. This place should be packed on a Saturday night.

CombatCritic Gives Cafe Allegro 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Four Bombs Equates To:

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Read Chris S.'s review of Cafe Allegro on Yelp

Menu

Title: Tigard, OR: Cafe Allegro Disappoints In A City Void Of Decent, Reasonable, Homestyle Italian Food

Key Words: Cafe Allegro, cafe, allegro, Italian, Italy, pasta, pizza, Tigard, Portland, Oregon, OR, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, Zomato

Translation for Civilians: BOHICA = "Bend Over, Here It Comes Again"

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