St Joseph, MO: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Il Lazzarone

1628 Frederick Avenue

Saint Joseph, MO 64501

Phone: (816) 273-0582

Website: illazzarone.org

Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Hi-Ho Bar and Grill, you will find Il Lazzarone.  Their website claims: “The Association of Vera Pizza Napoletana hereby certifies this establishment to sell true, authentic pizza Napoletana", so we had high hopes that this was going to be a memorable experience. It was memorable all right, but not in a good way.

The place looks more like a burger or barbecue joint than a pizzeria, having brick walls, wood floors, and country music blaring over the speakers. Not much ambience. We arrived at 7pm and you could shoot a cannon through the place without hitting a soul. We were quickly seated.

Glasses of average wine, Sicilian Nero d'Avola for example, started at $8, so I decided to have a "tap" beer. The menu said "ask server for selections" and prices were listed as "MKT", so based on the prices of the wine, I did not think the beer would be reasonably priced. It was not. If you like spending $1 an ounce for beer, this is the place for you! A 6 ounce Boulevard IPA (yes, that is the amount of beer I was served in the photo) was $7 ... $7 ... that is more than $1 per ounce ... MAMMA MIA!

I asked the server if the Caprese salad ($7) came with bread and she told me it did not. Nuff said, not ordering a Caprese, thank you very much.  But then she insisted that the "brushetta" (it is spelled bruschetta and pronounced brew-sket-a) was "the same thing", tomatoes and bread, same thing. I insisted that bruschetta (also $7) is not the same thing as Caprese and bread, having lived in Italy for three-and-a-half years, traveled extensively all over the country and married an Italian, but she would not be swayed. I guess we agreed to disagree because she walked off. I guess the customer is not always right, particularly at Il Lazzarone.

The pizzas come in red (with tomato sauce) and white (without), so my wife ordered the "funghi" (mushroom - which the waitress also mispronounced) and I the "carne" (meat - salame, sausage, and American pepperoni). The guys making the pizza in an authentic Neapolitan wood-fired oven were pleasant and helpful, so I asked who was trained or certified in Naples (a requirement of The True Neapolitan Pizza Association - Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana or AVPN - a designation they claim on their website, menu and walls). He told me that he was trained by his boss who received the certification. OK, close enough I guess.

Anyway, back to the pizza. My wife's pizza ($10) looked decent enough, right size and so on, but just was not pizza napoletana (Neapolitan pizza). The crust was good, but drier and crunchier than any pizza napoletana I have ever had (and I have had many - in Naples) and there was not enough cheese or mushrooms. My wife was generally pleased, but not elated. 

My pizza ($13.50) was smaller than my wife's, closer twelve inches in diameter, also with not enough mozzarella or "meat" and with an odd taste NOT reminiscent of pizza napoletana. Real ("vero" in Italian) pizza napoletana is made with very specific ingredients. Tomatoes from the Naples area with just the right color and acidity, for example, as well as specifically sourced olive oil, mozzarella, and wheat. The odd taste had to come from the tomatoes and I assume that they "seasoned" them, something that would NEVER be done in Naples. Crushed tomatoes and only tomatoes are the first ingredient added to pizza napolitana, no basil, no oregano, no garlic ... nothing ... tomatoes.

For the Midwest, the pizza was fair, but that is not saying much. The prices were twice what you would pay in Italy, even in Florence where everything costs an arm and a leg. A much better meal with two similar pizzas and a beer or half carafe of wine would cost around $16, less than half of the $33 plus tip we paid for this meal. Finally, the server should not have insisted that I was wrong about the Caprese and bruschetta. She could have also benefited from a larger tab (and a larger tip) by letting me have a Caprese salad and bringing me some damn bread. Caprese should not be eaten without a fork in one hand and a decent piece of bread in the other. Get a clue ... give your customers some bread when warranted.

CombatCritic Gives Il Lazzarone 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Key Words: Il Lazzarone, lazzarone, rascal, pizza, St Joseph, Joseph, MO, Missouri, Caprese, beer, wine, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

Naples, Italy: I Have A "Hunch" You Will Like "Il Gobbetto"

Il Gobbetto

Via Sergente Maggiore 8

80132 Naples, Campania, Italy

Phone: +39 081 2512435

Prices: $$$$$

I had read the favorable reviews of Il Gobbetto, literally "The Hunchback", so we decided to have a look inside as we happened by. It is a cute little place just off Via Toledo and a stones throw from the infamous Teatro San Carlo, but a bit cramped with too many tables for the small room. It seems as though they cater to tourists as foreigners made up most of the clientele. We were squeezed into a corner table by the owner who speaks a little English, making maneuvering the elbows a little difficult.

As is usually the case, our eyes were, metaphorically speaking, bigger than our stomachs and we ended up ordering antipasti (appetizers) and primi (first courses). For my wife's antipasto she ordered the Pacchero Fritto (€3), four deep fried ??? cheese squares that were rather uninspiring. I on the other hand had l'insalata Caprese (Caprese salad - €6), sliced, ripe, juicy cherry tomatoes on a bed of rucola, and thick slices of mozzarella di bufala (mozzarella cheese made from milk of water buffalo, a specialty of Southern Italy's Mediterranean coastal region) topped with fresh basil leaves. You would easily pay $8 to $15 for a dish like this in the states, so the $6.75 price tag was not difficult to swallow ... yuk-yuk.

For our primi and final courses of the night we decided to go with pasta. My wife had the Gnocchi del Gobbetto (€6), handmade gnocchi (potato dumplings) in a creamy cheese sauce with sliced zucchini and topped with fresh basil. The gnocchi were perfectly cooked, not too soft, not too hard, and the sauce perfectly complimented the lightness of the thinly sliced zucchini. The portion was perfect with just enough to fill you without bursting and the price extremely fair compared to U.S. restaurant standards.

My Orecchiette Salsiccia e Provola (ear shaped pasta in a tomato sauce with ground sweet sausage and melted provolone cheese - €6) was exquisite. Again, handmade pasta, as is the case in most restaurants in Italy, was in just the right proportion to sauce, sausage and provolone, and was perfectly "al dente". One of my all-time favorite dishes is orecchiette salsiccia e friarielli (sausage and broccoli rabe sauteed in olive oil and garlic) and this was the first time I tried a version with tomato sauce. It may not become my favorite, but I will definitely be playing with this recipe at home and would order it again in a flash ... HOOAH!

Cover charge (coperto) is just €1 per person, the service was excellent, and things moved quickly even though they were rather busy.  The owner even took time to dance with a couple of pretty young lady customers in the middle of the room while his wife slaved away in the kitchen (I hope she doesn't read this or I might get him in trouble). Their house red (or white) wine, which is very good, comes in at a paltry €3 per bottle (compare that to a half-liter of inferior house red at Pizzeria Sorbillo - €9) and a liter of mineral water is just €1.50 (€1.50 for a half-liter at Sorbillo). Our bill came to just €28.50 for two courses, wine, and water (plus tip), a tremendous bargain and worth feeling a bit claustrophobic.

CombatCritic Gives Il Gobbetto A Very Solid 8 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better

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 Menu (English)

Title: I Have A "Hunch" You Will Like "Il Gobbetto"

Key Words: Il Gobbetto, gobbetto, hunchback, hunch, osteria, restaurant, pasta, antipasto, Caprese, salad, menu, review, Naples, Napoli, Italy, Italia, CombatCritic, travel, value, critic, combat