Parkville, MO: Half-Ass Estimate, Zero Communication ... We're "The Lawn & Sprinkler Guys"!

The Lawn & Sprinkler Guys
Parkville, MO
Phone: (816) 741-7101
Website: TheLawnAndSprinklerGuys.com

Look at their name, "The Lawn & Sprinkler Guys", and it will tell you a lot about their professionalism.

I asked them to provide an estimate for major damage to our sprinkler system caused by a lightning strike and to install a backflow prevention device required by the city. All they did was come to the house, look around, and tell us "here's our hourly rate ($70/hour) and we'll figure it out when we start". No formal bid for our insurance company, no phone call, just an email form their admin person.  I asked to have the owner call me to discuss details of the job, but he never bothered to contact me. 

Like most of the dozens of lawn, landscape, and sprinkler companies I have dealt with since moving to KC in 2008, The Lawn & Sprinkler Guys are irresponsible, unprofessional, poor communicators and I would not hire them if they were the last company in Kansas or Missouri. They must have more business and money than they need if they can treat customers like that, so I recommend you not waste your time contacting them.

CombatCritic Gives The Lawn & Sprinkler Guys 1 Bomb Out Of 10 And A spot On My Quickly Growing WALL OF SHAME ... More Bombs Are Better!

One Bomb Equates To:

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Title: Parkville, MO: Half-Ass Estimate, Zero Communication ... We're "The Lawn & Sprinkler Guys"!

Key Words: Parkville, MO, estimate, The Lawn & Sprinkler Guys, lawn, sprinkler, guys, repair, installation, service, Kansas City, Kansas, city, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, review, Yelp

Translation for Civilians: FUBAR = "Fucked Up Beyond All Repair"

Parkville, MO: Guacamole Price Skyrockets, Otherwise Same Good Food

Rancho Grande Cantina

11015 NW Hwy 45

Kansas City, MO 64152

Phone: (816) 505-9097

Website: ranchograndecantina.com

Prices: $$$$

We don't get over to Parkville that often, but when we do, we always stop at Rancho Grande.

Pitchers of margaritas are $12 during Chiefs games, a great deal for some of the best and strongest margaritas in the Midwest. 

They raised the prices on guacamole by $1.30 (which always needs extra salt) among other things, uncool, but the food is still good and plentiful. The small guacamole (used to be $3.69) is now the large ($4.99) and is overpriced by at least a $1 based on quantity, Chips are obviously made in house, half tortillas, and the salsas are very good.

Their fried tacos are excellent, although shredded beef would be a good option, and the cheese and onion enchiladas are some of the best within a 50 mile radius. I normally get the #1 combo, two cheese and onion enchiladas, a deep fried beef taco, a tostada, rice and beans ($10.09), but I sub an extra taco for the tostada at no extra charge.

The service is always good, although we were weekly regulars for 5 years and most employees do not remember us. I guess absence does not make the heart grow fonder at Rancho Grande.

CombatCritic Gives Rancho Grande (Parkville) 7 Bombs Out Of 10

Seven Bombs Equates To:

"Shits & Grins"

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Rancho Grande Cantina

Title: Guacamole Price Skyrockets, Otherwise Same Good Food

Key Words: Rancho Grande Cantina, rancho, grande, cantina, Mexican, Parkville, Kansas City, MO, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor, Tabelog, Zomato

Translation for Civilians: S&G = "Shits & Grins"

St Joseph, MO: Give The Hi-Ho The Heave-Ho If Hungry In St Joe

Hi-Ho Bar And Grill
1817 Frederick Avenue
Saint Joseph, MO 64501
Phone: (816) 233-7363
Website: hiho-stjoe.com
Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Il Lazzarone you will find the Hi-Ho Bar and Grill. Again, Yelp reviewers raved about the food here, so we gave it a try. What a disappointment! It seems as though low expectations have become the norm among many customers in the region because I am continuously shocked by how appalling food and service turn out to be at places with four and five-star ratings (out of five). The highlight here was the nice guy behind the bar. The lowlights were the food, the prices, and his rude, blonde, female companion.

The companion, a young, blonde woman in her twenties, worked behind the bar and as a server. When we first arrived, I had to get out of her way as she forced her way past me to get to a table, no "excuse me", nothing. Then, after I noticed that a couple of drunk guys had turned the TV I was watching the National League Division Series between the Cubs and the Cardinals on away from me (so they could watch it - again, without asking), I asked her if I could please continue watching the game we had taken that table specifically to see. She said: "well, they've been at that table all day", to which I replied "so?". She finally went over and turned the TV back in our direction after rolling her eyes. She then ignored us for 15 minutes until the nice guy behind the bar came over to take our order.

We almost left at that point and probably should have looking back, but decided to stay and ordered a few different things to sample the menu. As appetizers, we had a beef "slider" with cheese ($3.58) and a deep-fried beef taco ($2.79). The slider was a tiny piece of frozen meat with American cheese between two tiny bun halves, that was it. Hardly worth the price. The taco was in a greasy flour tortilla, was otherwise not bad, but overpriced by $.29 to $.79. 

For our mains, we had a patty melt with onion rings ($8.99) and a Cuban sandwich with fries ($9.49). The patty melt's beef patty was small, there was hardly any cheese, the onions were almost raw (not "grilled"), and the onion rings tasted of fish because the frier obviously had not been cleaned in quite a while. The Cuban tasted decent, but there was not nearly enough meat or cheese and the fries were "OK".

Overall, the service was sketchy, the food mediocre at best, the prices too high, and the value just not there. 

CombatCritic Gives Hi-Ho Bar And Grill 3 out of 10 Bombs ... More Bombs Are Better!

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Title: Give The Hi-Ho The Heave-Ho If Hungry In St Joe

Key Words: Hi-Ho Bar And Grill, Hi-Ho, bar, grill, St Joseph, MO, Missouri, beer, food, restaurant, dive, rude, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

St Joseph, MO: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Il Lazzarone

1628 Frederick Avenue

Saint Joseph, MO 64501

Phone: (816) 273-0582

Website: illazzarone.org

Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Hi-Ho Bar and Grill, you will find Il Lazzarone.  Their website claims: “The Association of Vera Pizza Napoletana hereby certifies this establishment to sell true, authentic pizza Napoletana", so we had high hopes that this was going to be a memorable experience. It was memorable all right, but not in a good way.

The place looks more like a burger or barbecue joint than a pizzeria, having brick walls, wood floors, and country music blaring over the speakers. Not much ambience. We arrived at 7pm and you could shoot a cannon through the place without hitting a soul. We were quickly seated.

Glasses of average wine, Sicilian Nero d'Avola for example, started at $8, so I decided to have a "tap" beer. The menu said "ask server for selections" and prices were listed as "MKT", so based on the prices of the wine, I did not think the beer would be reasonably priced. It was not. If you like spending $1 an ounce for beer, this is the place for you! A 6 ounce Boulevard IPA (yes, that is the amount of beer I was served in the photo) was $7 ... $7 ... that is more than $1 per ounce ... MAMMA MIA!

I asked the server if the Caprese salad ($7) came with bread and she told me it did not. Nuff said, not ordering a Caprese, thank you very much.  But then she insisted that the "brushetta" (it is spelled bruschetta and pronounced brew-sket-a) was "the same thing", tomatoes and bread, same thing. I insisted that bruschetta (also $7) is not the same thing as Caprese and bread, having lived in Italy for three-and-a-half years, traveled extensively all over the country and married an Italian, but she would not be swayed. I guess we agreed to disagree because she walked off. I guess the customer is not always right, particularly at Il Lazzarone.

The pizzas come in red (with tomato sauce) and white (without), so my wife ordered the "funghi" (mushroom - which the waitress also mispronounced) and I the "carne" (meat - salame, sausage, and American pepperoni). The guys making the pizza in an authentic Neapolitan wood-fired oven were pleasant and helpful, so I asked who was trained or certified in Naples (a requirement of The True Neapolitan Pizza Association - Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana or AVPN - a designation they claim on their website, menu and walls). He told me that he was trained by his boss who received the certification. OK, close enough I guess.

Anyway, back to the pizza. My wife's pizza ($10) looked decent enough, right size and so on, but just was not pizza napoletana (Neapolitan pizza). The crust was good, but drier and crunchier than any pizza napoletana I have ever had (and I have had many - in Naples) and there was not enough cheese or mushrooms. My wife was generally pleased, but not elated. 

My pizza ($13.50) was smaller than my wife's, closer twelve inches in diameter, also with not enough mozzarella or "meat" and with an odd taste NOT reminiscent of pizza napoletana. Real ("vero" in Italian) pizza napoletana is made with very specific ingredients. Tomatoes from the Naples area with just the right color and acidity, for example, as well as specifically sourced olive oil, mozzarella, and wheat. The odd taste had to come from the tomatoes and I assume that they "seasoned" them, something that would NEVER be done in Naples. Crushed tomatoes and only tomatoes are the first ingredient added to pizza napolitana, no basil, no oregano, no garlic ... nothing ... tomatoes.

For the Midwest, the pizza was fair, but that is not saying much. The prices were twice what you would pay in Italy, even in Florence where everything costs an arm and a leg. A much better meal with two similar pizzas and a beer or half carafe of wine would cost around $16, less than half of the $33 plus tip we paid for this meal. Finally, the server should not have insisted that I was wrong about the Caprese and bruschetta. She could have also benefited from a larger tab (and a larger tip) by letting me have a Caprese salad and bringing me some damn bread. Caprese should not be eaten without a fork in one hand and a decent piece of bread in the other. Get a clue ... give your customers some bread when warranted.

CombatCritic Gives Il Lazzarone 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

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Title: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Key Words: Il Lazzarone, lazzarone, rascal, pizza, St Joseph, Joseph, MO, Missouri, Caprese, beer, wine, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

"Nein!" … Oops, I Meant, "Nine?" Dollars For A Glass Of Wine?

Grünauer (Austrian)

101 West 22nd St

Kansas City, MO 64108

Phone: 816.283.3234

Web: http://grunauerkc.com/full-menu/

Hours:

Mon-Thur 11:30am – 10pm

Fri & Sat 11:30am – 11pm

Sun 11:30am – 9pm

Wunderbar 11:30am – 1am

Happy Hour 3-6pm & 10pm – Close

Prices: $$$$$

We found Grünauer quite by accident while visiting Lidia's, one of our favorites in KC and owned by Lidia Bastianich of PBS fame. Grünauer is just west of Lidia’s in the same large parking lot immediately behind Union Station.  The main dining room is large and modern with warm tones, big booths, and plenty of glass. We were well received and escorted to our table. The service excellent, a team of servers and assistants ensure things come and go efficiently with a smile.

Wine is a bit pricey, starting at $9 for a glass and bottles from $38, so you may want to stick to beer if on a budget.  The meals are large and filling, so soup, salad, or appetizer are only for those with the biggest appetites. Not knowing this, I ordered the Käse und Biersuppe ($6), a smoked gouda and beer soup that is a decadent as the name implies and a wonderful way to start a meal.

My wife ordered the Ksesptzle ($15.00), a rich, creamy spatzle dish made with swiss cheese and topped with crispy onions. The spatzle was cooked to perfection and the sauce thick and flavorful. The crispy onions were more than a garnish, adding some texture and complimentary flavor to the dish. The Ksesptzle was delicious, a large portion of cheesy goodness that satisfied my wife’s sensitive vegetarian palate. 

Having lived in Europe for six years and spending a great deal of time in Germany, Austria, Slovenia, and Hungary where good schnitzel is common, I could not resist the Cordon Bleu ($22.00), a breaded pork cutlet stuffed with smoked ham and swiss cheese and pan fried to a golden brown. Nor could I resist ordering a side of their rich and decadent Jäger sauce ($4) made with its namesake Jägermeister, mushrooms, and cream to top my cordon bleu. $22 is a bit steep for pork, especially considering you have to pay $4 extra for a side, in my case mashed potatoes, but the schnitzel was tender and juicy, filled with ham and gooey cheese as advertised.  When topped with the Jäger sauce it was as good as any I have had abroad, and I have had more than a few, but by the time I added the price of the entrée to the potatoes and the sauce the total came to $30, far more than I have ever paid for any similar meal in Europe.

Grünauer’s food is excellent, the service flawless, and the environment comfortable, but the prices are a bit excessive.  However, due to the dearth of German restaurants in Kansas City, and Grünauer is as close as you are going to get to authentic German in this area, what other options do we have?  You can drive a couple hours southeast to Camdenton for a meal at Der Essen Platz where the food is just as good and the prices half of Grünauer’s, but that is not plausible.  So, had my cordon bleu meal (including sauce and side) been in the $18 to $24 range with wine starting at a reasonable $6 per glass, I would have given them 8 Bombs, but they are not and I did not … 

CombatCritic Gives Grünauer 6 Bombs Out Of 10 … More Bombs Are Better!

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Title: Nein … Oops … Nine Dollars For A Glass Of Wine?

Key Words: Grünauer, Austrian, restaurant, Austria, German, schnitzel, spaetzel, spätzle, wine, beer, menu, food, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, Kansas City, Missouri, MO, Yelp, TripAdvisor, UrbanSpoon

Vietnam Cafe ... Serious, Affordable, Quality Vietnamese Cuisine in KC

Vietnam Cafe
522 Campbell Street
Kansas City, MO 64106
(816) 472-4888
Price: $$$$$

Vietnam Cafe is hands-down the BEST VIETNAMESE RESTAURANT IN KANSAS CITY! A small, clean, unassuming diner-type building in the old Little Italy section near River Market, they have great, authentic Vietnamese food at very reasonable prices.

We started with the Vietnamese egg rolls (4 - $5, you have to ask for them specifically) which are only different from regular egg rolls in that you get lettuce leaves to wrap them in and cilantro, mint leaves (if available), and sliced carrots to add inside the lettuce as well as a spicy rice vinegar dipping sauce ... YUM!

I had the beef curry and my wife had the vegetarian pho. Both were excellent although the curry was not of the variety of Vietnamese curry that I am used to (a thick red curry with mostly beef). The pho, my wife's favorite, was chock full of veggies and as tasty as we have had.

The staff are very friendly and helpful and the restaurant is extremely clean. It is not a huge place, but we had no difficulty getting a table. The neighborhood looks a bit dodgy, but we have never had any problems either at Vietnam Cafe or Garrozo's which is not far away.

CombatCritic Gives Vietnam Cafe 8 Out Of 10 Bombs for good food and service at a GREAT VALUE ... BOMBS ARE GOOD!

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Key Words: Vietnam Cafe, Vietnam, cafe, Vietnamese, pho, curry, noodles, egg roll, egg, roll, Kansas City, Missouri, MO, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, Yelp, Urbanspoon, TripAdvisor

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Rancho Grande Cantina - Parkville, Missouri ... UPDATE

Rancho Grande Cantina - June 2013 UPDATE

Price: $$$$$ - All entrees below $15

(816) 505-9097
11015 NW Hwy 45
Parkville,MO 64152

RANCHOGRANDECANTINA.COM

Rancho Grande in Parkville is a weekly staple in our house. Yes, of course it is Americanized Mexican, but we are in America after all. If you have a craving for inexpensive, quality food, this USED TO BE THE PLACE. I have been a customer for five years and have continued to go back week after week, but that could soon change!

You would think that customers who come back week after week after week, particularly ones who have a restaurant and food blog, would be known by name, perhaps greeted with more than indifference, but that is not the case at Rancho Grande Cantina.

The food is good, normally consistent, but that has changed recently.  For example, on their "Fajita Special" night a few months back, I sat in the bar and had some of the worst service in recent memory. On the back of many employee's shirts is the phrase "I know Joe", referring to the alleged owner, a guy named "Joe" apparently. Well, Joe was sitting in the bar with several of his cronies and my waiter seemed more focused on making Joe happy than any of his customers.  Joe and his pals were knocking back the beers while I sat, and sat, and sat, and waited for my appetizer, then dinner, when my waiter was more interested in making sure Joe and his pals were supplied with cold beer than taking care of his customers.  

The fajitas, although discounted $3.oo, were more than 30% less than their normal portion AND BURNT. I could not get my waiters attention long enough to convey my displeasure because of his infatuation with Joe, so I went home and conveyed my displeasure via Yelp and Foursquare.  I was being lazy.

Cinco de Mayo, to my displeasure, was an extremely busy night on a normally quiet Sunday, our normal Rancho Grande evening.  The hostess told us our wait would be 30  minutes, but we ended up waiting over an hour. When I saw that we were next on the list for a table, we went to the front and waited next to the hostess, thinking we would have a table in a few minutes.  A party of eight was seated before us even though they fell after us on the list, but that is not irregular.  What was irregular was the party of two, plus a child, that got our table because they were "friends' of the hostess.  I saw the man conversing with employees earlier, so I knew that he was either an employee or a friend of staff.  So when he and his family were seated, at our table, without being on "the list", I was unhappy, but because of the mass confusion, I kept my mouth shut.

Our server did not greet us for close to ten minutes after being seated and when we ordered, we let her know that my wife's quesadilla was cold last time she ordered it, asking her to please ensure that it was properly heated this evening. When it arrived, 30 minutes later, it was luke-warm. The young woman that dropped-off the plates ignored our pleas for assistance, pretending that she did not hear us as we attempted to point out the chill on the quesadilla.  Taking several minutes to get the attention of our server, we finally let her know that the meal was cold and finally received our complete meals ten minutes later.

All the while, Joe, whom we still do not know after five years of weekly visits, was sucking down a beer by the bar, ignoring his customers and the horrible service we were receiving.

We have spent literally thousands of dollars at Rancho Grande in the five years we have lived in Kansas City.  I enjoy the food and some of the servers recognize us although none even have any idea what our names are.  I would expect a little more of a business whose business is customer service, but customer service seems to be a thing of the past, so why should I be disappointed?

As I said, even though we eat there very week, most of the staff barely recognize us and hardly anybody has any idea what our names are.  Temira, a native-American server with a Hebrew name (meaning "tall"), is one of the few servers that bothers to give us the time of day.  She is very pretty and kind, giving personalized service where most of her peers fail.  A personality ... what a concept ... thank you Temira!  I would like to personally tell Temira how much I appreciate her personalized attention, but the restaurant is not amenable to such conversations.  Fell free to send me a message Temira ... SEND ME A MESSAGE

Having been dedicated and consistent customers for five years, I would expect more from a restaurant where we literally spend thousands of dollars a year.  There are a few servers , like Temira, that stop to say hello, but the busboys know us better than any of them, making sure to bring the "hot" salsa when we arrive.  If the rest of the staff were as attentive as they are, we would feel like royalty, a not so terrible thing considering our loyalty to the establishment.

Joe, whom I still do not know, even though I have been eating at his restaurant every week for five years, should be ashamed for his apathy toward guests and his propensity to suck down beers rather than  ensure his customers get the service and quality we deserve. I do not expect, nor would I accept, special treatment because I am a food critic.  But I am a paying customer and would expect that our loyalty to his business would at least be appreciated, something we have not felt in five years of eating at Rancho Grande. The manager, a nice woman who knows us by face and that I have a food and travel blog, does not even know our names ... after five years ... every Sunday for five years ... can you believe that?  Maybe it is time to find a proprietor and restaurant that appreciates our hard earned money and loyalty.

In all, Rancho Grande in Parkville WAS an excellent choice for quality American-Mexican food with large portions at a reasonable price, but if you want to be appreciated ... go elsewhere!  Jalisco is a new Mexican restaurant is the Parkville area, see my Jalisco Mexican Restaurant Review, and while the food is not quite as good as Rancho Grande, you feel welcome when you walk through the door.

CombatCritic gives Rancho Grande Cantina in Parkville 6 (used to be 7) Out of 10 BOMBS ... Bombs are good!

11015 NW Mo-45
Kansas City, MO 64152 

ranchograndecantina.com

Key Words: 64152, CombatCritic, critic, eat, eating, kansas city, mexican food, missouri, MO, Parkville, rancho grande cantina, restaurant, Restaurants, Review, Review Kansas City Restaurants, reviews, Temira, Mexican, food

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UPDATE: Rancho Grande Cantina (Parkville, MO) ... Disappointing!

Rancho Grande Cantina UPDATE

Price: $$$$$ - All entrees below $15

(816) 505-9097
11015 NW Hwy 45
Parkville,MO 64152

RANCHOGRANDECANTINA.COM

Rancho Grande in Parkville is a weekly staple in our house. Yes, of course it is Americanized Mexican, but we are in America after all. If you have a craving for inexpensive, quality food, this USED TO BE THE PLACE. I have been a customer for five years and have continued to go back week after week, but that could soon change!

You would think that customers who come back week after week after week, particularly ones who have a restaurant and food blog, would be known by name, perhaps greeted with more than indifference, but that is not the case at Rancho Grande Cantina.

The food is good, normally consistent, but that has changed recently.  For example, on their "Fajita Special" night a few months back, I sat in the bar and had some of the worst service in recent memory. On the back of many employee's shirts is the phrase "I know Joe", referring to the alleged owner, a guy named "Joe" apparently. Well, Joe was sitting in the bar with several of his cronies and my waiter seemed more focused on making Joe happy than any of his customers.  Joe and his pals were knocking back the beers while I sat, and sat, and sat, and waited for my appetizer, then dinner, when my waiter was more interested in making sure Joe and his pals were supplied with cold beer than taking care of his customers.  

The fajitas, although discounted $3.oo, were more than 30% less than their normal portion AND BURNT. I could not get my waiters attention long enough to convey my displeasure because of his infatuation with Joe, so I went home and conveyed my displeasure via Yelp and Foursquare.  I was being lazy.

Today is Cinco de Mayo and, to my displeasure, an extremely busy night on a normally quiet Sunday, our normal Rancho Grande evening.  The hostess told us our wait would be 30  minutes, but we ended up waiting over an hour. When I saw that we were next on the list for a table, we went to the front and waited next to the hostess, thinking we would have a table in a few minutes.  A party of eight was seated before us even though they fell after us on the list, but that is not irregular.  What was irregular was the party of two, plus a child, that got our table because they were "friends' of the hostess.  I saw the man conversing with employees earlier, so I knew that he was either an employee or a friend of staff.  So when he and his family were seated, at our table, without being on "the list", I was unhappy, but because of the mass confusion, I kept my mouth shut.

Our server did not greet us for close to ten minutes after being seated and when we ordered, we let her know that my wife's quesadilla was cold last time she ordered it, asking her to please ensure that it was properly heated this evening. When it arrived, 30 minutes later, it was luke-warm. The young woman that dropped-off the plates ignored our pleas for assistance, pretending that she did not hear us as we attempted to point out the chill on the quesadilla.  Taking several minutes to get the attention of our server, we finally let her know that the meal was cold and finally received our complete meals ten minutes later.

All the while, Joe, whom we still do not know after five years of weekly visits, was sucking down a beer by the bar, ignoring his customers and the horrible service we were receiving.

We have spent literally thousands of dollars at Rancho Grande in the five years we have lived in Kansas City.  I enjoy the food and some of the servers recognize us although none even have any idea what our names are.  I would expect a little more of a business whose business is customer service, but customer service seems to be a thing of the past, so why should I be disappointed?

Joe, whom I still do not know, even though I have been eating at his restaurant every week for five years, should be ashamed for his apathy toward guests and his propensity to suck down beers rather than  ensure his customers get the service and quality we deserve. I do not expect, nor would I accept, special treatment because I am a food critic.  But I am a paying customer and would expect that our loyalty to his business would at least be appreciated, something we have not felt in five years of eating at Rancho Grande. Maybe it is time to find a proprietor and restaurant that appreciates our hard earned money and loyalty.

In all, Rancho Grande in Parkville WAS an excellent choice for quality American-Mexican food with large portions at a reasonable price, but if you want to be appreciated ... go elsewhere!

CombatCritic gives Rancho Grande Cantina in Parkville 5 (used to be 7) out of 10 BOMBS. Bombs are good!

11015 NW Mo-45
Kansas City, MO 64152 

ranchograndecantina.com