St Joseph, MO: Historic Inn + Dilapidated City = Slightly Overpriced Accommodation

Whiskey Mansion Bed and Breakfast

1723 Francis Street

Saint Joseph, MO 64501

Phone: (816) 676-1529

Website: whiskeymansion1885.com

Prices: $$$$

A beautiful, restored historic mansion in a bit of a sketchy neighborhood in St Joe stand as stark contradictions, but once inside Whiskey Mansion the world outside is much less conspicuous. Having suffered arson and gutting back in the 1990s (from what I understood), this mansion, which was built by a whiskey baron back in 1885, has been meticulously restored to its former glory. Too bad the rest of St Joseph has not been treated quite so well.

Entering through the covered porch into the large sitting room, the formal dining room is straight ahead and the room where breakfast is served is to your left. A large entry hall leads to the ornate staircase that takes you to the guest rooms upstairs. On the second floor are seven bedrooms, five large with en suite baths and two "maids rooms" with a shared bath, one of which was our room ($89+tax, including breakfast). 

The rooms are nicely furnished with antiques or reproductions and have TVs with cable, a small refrigerator, heat/air conditioning (Mitsubishi), and wi-fi. There is even a staircase lift for disabled guests on the back (servants) stairs.

Breakfast is served from 7am to 9:30am downstairs and from what I understand, French toast is the norm. Baked in the oven, two large pieces with maple syrup and globs of butter on top came on the plate along with a small fruit cup with fresh pineapple and honey dew melon cubes. The French toast was good, rich and sweet, but there was a little too much of a good thing and I would hate to know how many calories we consumed. Some eggs, bacon, hash browns, and biscuits and gravy would have been nice, but I do not think the kitchen has that capability. If you are paying $100+ per night for a room, you should get more than French toast and some fruit for breakfast. Coffee and tea were self-serve.

A historic and important river city, St Joseph was the hub for westward expansion in the 1800s  with Station #1 of the Pony Express as well as its headquarters and the prime railway embarkation point for Gold Rush travelers headed west. Unfortunately, there is not much happening downtown these days and many of the beautiful old buildings and homes have fallen into disrepair or have been boarded-up. If you are looking for things to do or good restaurants to eat at, you will be challenged in this "once" thriving town, making $100 per night and up for a room a bit of a stretch. I have stayed at nicer B&Bs in much more attractive locales for $75/night, probably a price more appropriate for St Joseph, Missouri.

Downtown St Joe is more like a "ghost town" and good food has also apparently disappeared from the locale. We tried two restaurants while in St Joseph, Il Lazarone, a pizza joint, and the Hi-Ho Bar and Grill, a dive bar with what resembles food. Both were not good, so good luck with meals. I hear McDonald's are plentiful in town ... yuk. So, with deductions for being slightly overpriced, the limited breakfast menu, the lack of decent restaurants in the area, and the dicey neighborhood ...

CombatCritic Gives Whiskey Mansion B&B 7 Bombs Out Of 10 ... Bombs Are Good!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: St Joseph, MO: Historic Inn + Dilapidated City = Slightly Overpriced Accommodation

Key Words: Whiskey Mansion Bed and Breakfast, Whiskey, mansion, bed, breakfast, B&B, hotel, inn, Francis, Street, St Joseph, Saint Joseph, Missouri, TravelValue, travel, value, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

St Joseph, MO: Give The Hi-Ho The Heave-Ho If Hungry In St Joe

Hi-Ho Bar And Grill
1817 Frederick Avenue
Saint Joseph, MO 64501
Phone: (816) 233-7363
Website: hiho-stjoe.com
Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Il Lazzarone you will find the Hi-Ho Bar and Grill. Again, Yelp reviewers raved about the food here, so we gave it a try. What a disappointment! It seems as though low expectations have become the norm among many customers in the region because I am continuously shocked by how appalling food and service turn out to be at places with four and five-star ratings (out of five). The highlight here was the nice guy behind the bar. The lowlights were the food, the prices, and his rude, blonde, female companion.

The companion, a young, blonde woman in her twenties, worked behind the bar and as a server. When we first arrived, I had to get out of her way as she forced her way past me to get to a table, no "excuse me", nothing. Then, after I noticed that a couple of drunk guys had turned the TV I was watching the National League Division Series between the Cubs and the Cardinals on away from me (so they could watch it - again, without asking), I asked her if I could please continue watching the game we had taken that table specifically to see. She said: "well, they've been at that table all day", to which I replied "so?". She finally went over and turned the TV back in our direction after rolling her eyes. She then ignored us for 15 minutes until the nice guy behind the bar came over to take our order.

We almost left at that point and probably should have looking back, but decided to stay and ordered a few different things to sample the menu. As appetizers, we had a beef "slider" with cheese ($3.58) and a deep-fried beef taco ($2.79). The slider was a tiny piece of frozen meat with American cheese between two tiny bun halves, that was it. Hardly worth the price. The taco was in a greasy flour tortilla, was otherwise not bad, but overpriced by $.29 to $.79. 

For our mains, we had a patty melt with onion rings ($8.99) and a Cuban sandwich with fries ($9.49). The patty melt's beef patty was small, there was hardly any cheese, the onions were almost raw (not "grilled"), and the onion rings tasted of fish because the frier obviously had not been cleaned in quite a while. The Cuban tasted decent, but there was not nearly enough meat or cheese and the fries were "OK".

Overall, the service was sketchy, the food mediocre at best, the prices too high, and the value just not there. 

CombatCritic Gives Hi-Ho Bar And Grill 3 out of 10 Bombs ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

... And Don't Forget To Subscribe To TravelValue TV on YouTube

Title: Give The Hi-Ho The Heave-Ho If Hungry In St Joe

Key Words: Hi-Ho Bar And Grill, Hi-Ho, bar, grill, St Joseph, MO, Missouri, beer, food, restaurant, dive, rude, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor

St Joseph, MO: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Il Lazzarone

1628 Frederick Avenue

Saint Joseph, MO 64501

Phone: (816) 273-0582

Website: illazzarone.org

Prices: $$$$

Across the street from the equally mediocre Hi-Ho Bar and Grill, you will find Il Lazzarone.  Their website claims: “The Association of Vera Pizza Napoletana hereby certifies this establishment to sell true, authentic pizza Napoletana", so we had high hopes that this was going to be a memorable experience. It was memorable all right, but not in a good way.

The place looks more like a burger or barbecue joint than a pizzeria, having brick walls, wood floors, and country music blaring over the speakers. Not much ambience. We arrived at 7pm and you could shoot a cannon through the place without hitting a soul. We were quickly seated.

Glasses of average wine, Sicilian Nero d'Avola for example, started at $8, so I decided to have a "tap" beer. The menu said "ask server for selections" and prices were listed as "MKT", so based on the prices of the wine, I did not think the beer would be reasonably priced. It was not. If you like spending $1 an ounce for beer, this is the place for you! A 6 ounce Boulevard IPA (yes, that is the amount of beer I was served in the photo) was $7 ... $7 ... that is more than $1 per ounce ... MAMMA MIA!

I asked the server if the Caprese salad ($7) came with bread and she told me it did not. Nuff said, not ordering a Caprese, thank you very much.  But then she insisted that the "brushetta" (it is spelled bruschetta and pronounced brew-sket-a) was "the same thing", tomatoes and bread, same thing. I insisted that bruschetta (also $7) is not the same thing as Caprese and bread, having lived in Italy for three-and-a-half years, traveled extensively all over the country and married an Italian, but she would not be swayed. I guess we agreed to disagree because she walked off. I guess the customer is not always right, particularly at Il Lazzarone.

The pizzas come in red (with tomato sauce) and white (without), so my wife ordered the "funghi" (mushroom - which the waitress also mispronounced) and I the "carne" (meat - salame, sausage, and American pepperoni). The guys making the pizza in an authentic Neapolitan wood-fired oven were pleasant and helpful, so I asked who was trained or certified in Naples (a requirement of The True Neapolitan Pizza Association - Associazione Verace Pizza Napoletana or AVPN - a designation they claim on their website, menu and walls). He told me that he was trained by his boss who received the certification. OK, close enough I guess.

Anyway, back to the pizza. My wife's pizza ($10) looked decent enough, right size and so on, but just was not pizza napoletana (Neapolitan pizza). The crust was good, but drier and crunchier than any pizza napoletana I have ever had (and I have had many - in Naples) and there was not enough cheese or mushrooms. My wife was generally pleased, but not elated. 

My pizza ($13.50) was smaller than my wife's, closer twelve inches in diameter, also with not enough mozzarella or "meat" and with an odd taste NOT reminiscent of pizza napoletana. Real ("vero" in Italian) pizza napoletana is made with very specific ingredients. Tomatoes from the Naples area with just the right color and acidity, for example, as well as specifically sourced olive oil, mozzarella, and wheat. The odd taste had to come from the tomatoes and I assume that they "seasoned" them, something that would NEVER be done in Naples. Crushed tomatoes and only tomatoes are the first ingredient added to pizza napolitana, no basil, no oregano, no garlic ... nothing ... tomatoes.

For the Midwest, the pizza was fair, but that is not saying much. The prices were twice what you would pay in Italy, even in Florence where everything costs an arm and a leg. A much better meal with two similar pizzas and a beer or half carafe of wine would cost around $16, less than half of the $33 plus tip we paid for this meal. Finally, the server should not have insisted that I was wrong about the Caprese and bruschetta. She could have also benefited from a larger tab (and a larger tip) by letting me have a Caprese salad and bringing me some damn bread. Caprese should not be eaten without a fork in one hand and a decent piece of bread in the other. Get a clue ... give your customers some bread when warranted.

CombatCritic Gives Il Lazzarone 4 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - "Elite '14/'15"

TripAdvisor - "Top Contributor" 

Tabelog - "Official Judge (Bronze)

Zomato - "Super Foodie"

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Title: Memorable, But Not In A Good Way

Key Words: Il Lazzarone, lazzarone, rascal, pizza, St Joseph, Joseph, MO, Missouri, Caprese, beer, wine, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, restaurant, menu, review, Yelp, TripAdvisor